Man, almost four months into lockdown and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost all sense of time, place, meaning, value, everything. Suddenly, nothing makes sense anymore. To remind myself of how life used to be, I’ve been watching and rewatching Bollywood movies, but they seem almost pointless in today’s context. Who cares about pyaar, thakurs and zeher, when we all that’s on our minds are CORONAVIRUS, the lockdown, and the depressing statistics that just keep increasing daily.
Investment Banker and closeted comedian Devendra Mehra took to Facebook to share some witty, punny movie dialogues that are rewritten to fit into our current cultural context. The pandemic hasn’t been easy on any of us, but Devendra has found a way to make us laugh by turning some of the most iconic Bollywood dialogues into covid dialogues. Because hey, the National Lockdown has united all us Indians together to stay home and keep ourselves safe, so why not unite us all through our love for Bollywood?
Here are some of the most iconic Bollywood dialogues, rewritten for life under lockdown*:
1. Sholay
“Yeh Mask Mujhe De De, Thakur”
2. Deewar
“Mere paas mask hain, sanitizer hain, insurance hain, bank balance hain kya hain tumhare paas?
Mere paas vaccine hain”
*MIC DROP*
3. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge
“Bade bade shehero main choti moti bimariya hoti rehti hain senorita”
4. 3 Idiots
“Dawai nahi Immunity badhao, Bimari jhak marke tumhare se dur bhagegi”
5. Dabangg
“Covid se dar nahi lagta sahab, lockdown se lagta hain”
6. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
“Fefdo main kuch kuch hota hain Anjali, tum nahin samjhogi”
7. Bajirao Mastani
“Agar aap humse humara sanitizer maang lete toh hum khushi kushi de dete, par aapne mask na pehen kar toh humara guroor hi tod diya”
8. Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
“Kahin pahuchne ke liye, Ghar se NA nikalna zaroori hain”
9. Devdas
“Kaun kambakth hain jo bardasht karne ke liye peeta hain, Hum toh peetein hain taki economy ko utha sake, lockdown ko bardasht kar sake”
10. Deewar (again)
“Main aaj bhi logo se haath nahi milata”
11. Damini
“Tareekh pe tareekh, tareekh pe tareekh, Tareekh pe Tareekh milti rahi hain mi lord par Lockdown ki last date nahin mili”
12. Maine Pyar Kiya
“Quarantine ka usool hain madam, no meeting, no going out”
13. Om Shanti Om
“Zindagi main agar covid ke cases agar khatam na ho toh lockdown abhi baki hain mere dost”
14. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobaara
“Agar saboon se haath dho rahe ho, toh Zinda ho tum
Agar social distancing follow kar rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum
Baar baar chehere ko haath na laga rahe ho toh zinda ho tum
Agar chehere pe mask lekar ghum rahe ho, toh Zinda ho tum
Ghar main jhadu, pocha, bartan kar rahe ho, toh Zinda ho tum”
15. Mughal-e-Azam
“Social distancing tumhe marne nahi dega aur lockdown tumhe jeene nahi degi”
16. Don
“Covid ki vaccine toh 12 mulkon ki scientist doondh rahi hain lekin, Vaccine ko dhoondhna mushkil hi nahin, namoomkin hain”
(Hope not)
17. Pakeezah
“Aapke pao dekhe bahut hasin hain, inhe ghar pe hi rakhe nahi toh covid ho jayega”
18. Shahenshah
“Rishtey main toh hum sare Virus ke Bap lagte, naam hain Corona”
19. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (repeat)
“Corona, naam toh suna hi hoga”
20. Andaz Apna Apna
“Teja main hoon, mask idhar hain”
Thank you, Devendra, for making us laugh during this difficult, depressing time. Also for reminding us about all the Bollywood movies that we’ve forgotten about. We’re officially going to spend our free days rewatching these classics.
Do you find these corona-dialogues funny? Do you have more to add? Send them to us on contactus@mirchiplay.com
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